If you haven't yet seen Valentine's Day, but you want to simply because Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are in it, well, we have some bad news for you. The Taylors are only in the movie for about six minutes.
You're probably thinking, 'All that hype for only six minutes?' and we couldn't agree more. We knew the Taylors weren't main characters in the film, but they barely got any screen time at all.
Since the movie is almost two hours long, you'll have to decide if those six minutes are worth the price of a movie ticket. If you decide to go, here's a breakdown of their scenes -- this way you can go play video games in the lobby and text your friends without missing a moment of the sweet (and short) Taylor/Taylor action.
We hit up the 12:10 showing the day after Valentine's Day to avoid the crowds. There were a few mothers with their daughters, but the place was pretty empty. Leaving the back row completely open for me to eat leftover Valentine's candy and take notes on my Blackberry.
12:27 PM - The movie starts. It's kind of weird to see Taylor Lautner's name in the credits at a non-Twilight movie.
12:43 PM - Taylor Swift is riding in an elevator with a giant teddy bear, but she's on screen for less than a minute. Lots of teen girls in the theater are laughing at Swift who is doing her very best ditzy girl impression.
1:00 PM - Lautner!! This is their main scene at the high school. Taylor Swift seems a little stiff, but T.L. is totally believable as a high school track star. They kiss. Then they talk. They kiss again. Okay, that was it. The scene lasts for two minutes.
1:37 PM - They're back.
1:38 PM - And they're gone.
1:38 1/2 PM - And they're back again. No wait, they're gone. Is that it?
2:13 PM - Taylor's song for the movie, 'Today Was A Fairytale' starts playing. A minute later we see Taylor Swift at the elevator again. This scene is a total cheese-fest, it reminds us more of one of Swift's music videos. Apparently Taylor/Taylor had a date, but we didn't get to see any of it. This doesn't seem fair.
2:25 PM - The movie ends! We never even saw the Taylor/Taylor scene where they're wearing crowns and kissing on the football field while the marching band forms a heart around them -- you know, the scene on all the previews for the movie that convinced us to buy a ticket to see the movie in the first place.
2:26 PM - Oh wait, there's a blooper scene with Taylor/Taylor where Taylor talks about how it was confusing filming their scenes since they're both named Taylor. They're wearing the costumes from the aforementioned scene we never saw. Odd.
2:27 PM - The movie is really over. Swift's character was named Felicia, by the way. We never caught Lautner's name.