You were back in court today and that sucks. But at least you made the best out of a not-so-great situation and wore a pretty Fendi dress and carried a gold Chanel bag into the courthouse. Hopefully one of those designers will see those photos and want to book you for their runway shows. But probably not.
Some media outlets are calling your makeup a major mishap, but we get that you were probably just in a hurry since you didn't know you were going to have to go to court, that's just what happens when a judge revokes your probation because you neglect to show up for nine court-ordered community service appointments.
Which brings us to our plea. Get your stuff together! And not just because the $100,000 bail that was set for you today could have done a lot of good had you donated it to charity instead... and that having to appear in court again on November 2nd is going to wreak major havoc on your plans to listen to Justin Bieber's Christmas album for 24 consecutive hours (isn't that what everyone plans to do November 1st through the 2nd?), but mainly because it breaks our heart to have to see you in handcuffs for, what... the 15th time now? You're a talented actress and a smart cookie. In fact, you probably know enough about the American legal system at this point that you could enroll in pre-law at Harvard. It could be filmed as a movie too, kind of like a 'Legally Blonde' documentary type of thing. We would totally watch that.
Reboots are also very popular right now (see Footloose). How about a remake of 'The Parent Trap' where a troubled Hollywood actress meets her identical twin in prison (a hardened criminal serving time for, let's say, jewelry theft) and they form an unlikely friendship? Hijinks ensue and eventually you both break out of prison and discover your birth parents. By the way, we set it in jail because apparently you might be going back there after today's proceedings.
Update: Turns out you've been assigned morgue duty. Two words... reality show!