The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills picked up immediately where it left last week, with a bunch of nervous middle-aged women awkwardly twirling around stripper poles. Kyle orders Yolanda to stop, which is unfortunate because her upside-down flailing is so much more entertaining than seeing her sip kelp juice.
Kim calls to say she's thinking of getting her nose job...today, like she's debating whether to get a Chanel logo manicure like her sister. (Both are obviously terrible ideas.) When her surgeon asks if she has any questions before the procedure, the ditzy blonde inquires whether he's happy, well-rested and had a beautiful weekend.
Adrienne opted out of Brandi's burlesque class to focus on her Maloof hoof and handbag line and paint her nails at her husband's office desk. Paul puts off a client's questions (about scheduling, not his personal happiness) to focus on his personal laser hair removal. His wife cackles as a Barbie-doll nurse performs the painful procedure on the hirsute surgeon's back.
Meanwhile, Kim is focusing on her recovery, and we don't mean her alcoholism. Visited by her surgeon after the unnecessary (unless you count her deviated septum) rhinoplasty, the recent rehabber is receiving pain medication through an IV, with a promise of a prescription to follow. Is surgery the new 13th Step?
Back in the Vegas, the ladies are "drinking a little bit of everything" at a private dinner at the Four Seasons. When Lisa asks for Camille's support in calling Brandi's sexercise classes "abnormal," the new author references Ms. Donatacci's scandalous soft-core career: "She's not going to agree with you, she does porn." (It's OK though, because her costar covered up with a sock.)
Marisa, who seems to have imbibed more than a "little bit of everything," spills red wine on her white dress and uses the ancient Streisand secret of dousing it with sauvignon blanc.
Tonight's menu features four courses of rehash. First up, Kim's surgery, with Brandi's BFF's warning that pain medication can "awaken the beast" for someone struggling with sobriety. Adrienne is served next, with the ladies arguing about her alleged plan to "go after" Lisa at the last reunion show and then touching on Lisa's bachelorette party snub of the Palms, Adrienne's hotel. Or is it? Brandi chooses this moment to drop another Adrienne truth bomb: that the Maloofs only own 2 percent of the Palms.
Kyle complains that revelation is "mean" and accuses Brandi of lying about having her nose done. Camille then questions Lisa's ownership of her restaurant Sur, which turns out to be "only" a 51 percent stake.
Yolanda put a stop to the whiplash party by shushing everyone and then leaving to catch a "private plane" home. At the door, Camille admits to Brandi that she fibbed to the women about not remembering a pre-reunion conversation with Brandi and Adrienne, but defends herself by saying Brandi "put her on the spot by bringing it up."
What, no dessert?
Back in 90210, Kyle visits her sister, recuperating in bed and managing her pain without medication. (At least for that day.) Maybe she has a little help from celebrity psychic Allison DuBois, because she starts smoking an electric cigarette she "found" in her nightstand. It's appropriate, because Kyle proceeds to give her sister a play-by-play of the disastrous dinner in Vegas.
Her tale is told alongside Lisa's own recounting for her husband Ken, who is shocked that Brandi blabbed about another secret in front of "everyone," aka the Bravo camera crew.
The cameras are definitely rolling for Brandi and Adrienne's long-awaited showdown! The preview for next week's episode promises character assassinations, accusations, denials and tons of shame on yous! (Maybe Brandi checked her F-bombs at the door of this fancy luncheon?)