'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: Brandi and her castmates strike back at Adrienne and Paul at Kyle's annual White Party, Kim hosts a nose unveiling/sobriety bash, and a love-struck Taylor jets off with a new man without knowing where her daughter is. History has a way of repeating itself on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: dinner parties from hell, uncivilized tea parties and Kyle Richards' annual White Party--televised three years in a row.
Every party must have a theme, but white apparently isn't enough for the RHOBH gang. Last year's "Friends don't sue friends" refrain was taken up again tonight, with Brandi Glanville and the Maloofs (yes, we know Paul's legal last name is Nassif, but he's Mr. Maloof to us--until he isn't) subbing for Camille and the Armstrongs.
En route to the party in a giant stretch limo, Adrienne and Paul unconvincingly try to portray themselves as being (1) on the right side of this equation and (2) happily married. And Adrienne's harping on karma is irony in the truest sense of the word. Not only does their marriage fail, but the Maloofs are called out as liars and hypocrites on Kyle's white couch.
(Hopefully Adrienne didn't ruin it with her spray tan like she did at Casa Vanderpump--twice, as Lisa felt compelled to point out.)
Paul concedes that they did engage their attorney to warn Brandi about her public comments, which they consider defamatory. But at Lisa's latest tea party, Adrienne had vehemently denied this--while also censuring Brandi for suggesting that her personal chef, Bernie, had sold stories to the tabloids about Mrs. Glanville.
This time, Brandi came prepared with documentation from Radar Online implicating Bernie. Does the sourpuss chef have all the gossip rags on speed dial? According to Lisa's hubby, Ken, he was also at the center of their own dispute last year. "We could've taken umbrage against Bernie and you for what you said," Brandi's white knight told Paul. "We didn't."
The Maloofs refuse to recognize the parallels between their lawyer's warning to Brandi and Russell Armstrong's emailed lawsuit threat to Camille the previous year--something that so outraged the Maloofs that they "led the charge" to turn Taylor and her husband away at the door. (He committed suicide a few months later.)
But the White Party was just the capper on an episode full of bizarre happenings.
Kim hosted a coming-out party for her new nose, expressing her gratitude for her friends' support of her sobriety with iced coffee drinks. (Apparently this woman really, really likes her caffeine on the rocks.)
Even stranger than the unveiling of Kim's only slightly altered snout ("We're all standing there like it's a quinceañera for a nose!" laughed Kyle) was a peculiar call from Taylor. The very merry widow was jetting off to Beaver Creek, joining a man she'd fallen in love with sometime in the past 48 hours. When Kyle, who was babysitting her daughter, asked whether she should keep Kennedy until the White Party, Taylor admitted she had "no idea" Kennedy was even in her care.
To be fair, shy Kennedy isn't the most conspicuous child. She was clearly terrified of Kim's plastic surgery, leading Kyle to cackle, "Honey, we live in Beverly Hills. You better get used to that."
We also caught a rare glimpse of Adrienne's kids (you know, the ones who may or may not have traveled through her birth canal) when a helicopter and smoke warned them that a huge fire had erupted in the mansion across the street. Yep, just months after Lisa and Ken moved away, their home was destroyed.
At least Adrienne didn't call karma on this catastrophe. Not while the cameras were rolling, anyway.
Next week, things take a boozy turn: First, Kim confronts Taylor about her concern that the widow has drinking problem. Then in Paris, the other Housewives suspect Kim herself might have fallen off the wagon. Oh no!