Did The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
star Kim Richards
fall off le wagon
Her erratic behavior is certainly raising the severely plucked eyebrows of her co-stars (except for maybe her frenemy turned BFF, Brandi Glanville
The second installment of their Parisian vacation opens with a brief recap of Kim's bizarre Marilyn Monroe impression from Part 1 and a flashback to her post-surgery pronouncement: "My decision not to take pain medication is really important to my sobriety."
Then came a strangely edited excerpt from Kim's "confessional," in which she explains, "I'm on my medication and if I don't take it properly or yeah, it can be all over the place."
She doesn't identify this mystery medication, but she is certainly all over the place in the City of Light.
With Brandi and Yolanda
jogging and Kyle
locking up their love on a bridge over the Seine, Ken
are left to babysit Kim--who, says Mrs. Vanderpump, "is up and down like a bloody yo-yo."
Among moments of startling lucidity, Kim is also rambling, disoriented and hyper. At one point, she interrupts Lisa to screech, "I want a new bicycle!" when a cyclist passes by.
After this sight--almost as thrilling as the Tour de France itself--Kim (naturellement
) decides to head back to the hotel for a siesta.
Unfortunately, her noontime nap lasts through the dinner hour, and when she doesn't meet the other Housewives downstairs, we once again hear the familiar refrain of "Where's Kim?" But while they worry about her relapsing, Yolanda goes directly to fatal overdose.
False alarm! Kim was in fact asleep, and Detective Yo found no evidence of alcohol or vials in her room.
That doesn't stop Lisa from pressing the issue, especially when Kim incorrectly insists they spent the afternoon together. (In fact, Yolanda subbed in for Kim after lunchtime.)
Kim presses the point in another peculiar confessional: "I spent the day with Lisa, we started about 9. The whole day. 9 or 10. About 4 or 5 she had to leave and had to go to..." (At this point the bewildered babe mumbles something unintelligible and seems to drift off.)
So even before their cooking class begins, Lisa is stirring the pot. Her insinuations make Kim cry, and Kyle comforts her sister in the car.
Soon all the ladies are running outside--not to comfort Kim, but because they are appalled by their main course.
"To see these furry quack-quacks lying on the table was too much," comments Lisa about the corpses of their soon-to-be duck l'orange
Unlike the ducks, the ladies survive their cooking lessons, and meet up the next day atop the Eiffel Tower. There, high above the city and uncomfortably close to the ledge, Kyle and Lisa rehash their usual spat. They live through this as well, even managing to air-kiss and make up.
Meanwhile, below them, Ken and Mauricio take a romantic tour of the city. On Segways.
If this is how people in the 90210 really roll, no wonder Kim was so enchanted by a bike?