"I have spent the last year studying award shows. I've seen how the other hosts do it and I realized that we're really supposed to be giving it to you guys," says Kristen--known for being super sweet--with gusto. "We're going to show you who's boss. It's time to tear you people a new one!"
Jason says he's not comfortable making jokes at anyone else's expense, but Kristen steamrolls him. "You better buckle up your seatbelts, Nashville. This is going to be a no holds barred rip-fest!" she shouts. "Who's our first target? I think by award show law, we have to start with Taylor Swift. Have at her, Jase. Have at her!"
"Taylor Swift, you know I gotta say you're one of the biggest stars on the planet," fawns Jason. "Country music's always going to be your home, and we love you for that. So thank you."
"Damn. Burn. Burn. Total Burn. You're gonna see that later on TMZ. Yes, you got her Jase!" says Kristen. "Wait, that wasn't a burn...That sucked. Let me show you how to do it."
Kristen attempts to go after "Queen of Mean" Carrie Underwood but has to admit she's beautiful and resorts to another angle. "But what about on the inside? Have you ever given anything back to society?" asks Kristen? "Do you even know the meaning of charity?"
Jason of course whispers in Kristen's ear and reminds her that Carrie recently donated $1 million to help victims of the Oklahoma tornado. What a creative way to call out Carrie's good deed.
Bravo to Kristen and Jason for turning the typical award show opening on its head. It worked perfectly for this occasion...and we're glad Taylor finally caught a break!