Remember when True Blood's Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) was a hottie? We've all cooled on the one-time Southern gentleman ever since he developed a serious God complex. Turns out he's only human-or at least an ordinary vampire-after all. Burn! (Yes, he literally caught fire. Ha!) But that was just one of our favorite moments from "You're No Good."
Danger: Highly Flammable Vampire: Well, well, well. The Almighty Bill is not immune from the sun after all! So how can he save himself and his fellow fangers from becoming the scrumptious center of a s'mores sandwich? Synthesized faerie blood! Forget any chance of him rekindling (see what we did there?) his romance with Sookie (Anna Paquin), on account of her throwing him out with the best line of the night: "You're not God, Bill: You're just an a--hole." However, Bill's got another ready supply in Andy Bellefleur's four faerie Beliebers.
Fellowship of the Sun, Redux: Speaking of fiery exes, a hearty welcome back to the Newlins! Not only did the reverend survive, but he came face to face with Sarah-now a best-selling author and even more ardent anti-vampist. Let the church bells ring!
What's a Supe Gotta Do to Get a Drink Around Here? The tween blood flowing in Andy's quadruplets became even more valuable after Warlow closed the curtain on the faery burlesque show by massacring everyone in their nightclub. Fortunately Ben (Rob Kazinsky) survived, to be Grandpa Niall's (Rutger Hauer) first recruit in his fae army. (And we all know Sookie has a thing for soldiers.) Fangtasia is also shutting its doors, with Eric, Pam, Tara saying a final farewell and taking Willa, the most adorable captive ever, along for the ride. (She's also the luckiest captive-what girl would turn down the opportunity to share a coffin with Eric Northman/Alexander Skarsgård?)
Dog Catcher: After Alcide (Joe Manganiello) and his rabid pack of werewolves slaughtered most of the Vampire Unity Society (after they're going to have to seriously revise the population number on the Welcome to Bon Temps sign after this episode), Sam rescued Emma-and Nicole. They'd make a pretty great couple, so yay.