This was the question that ruined the happiness that I felt over my body at the age of 13.
Is it my impression, or did you put on some weight, honey?
I had returned from summer vacation, and as a kid, I really didn't care about my body type — maybe because I have always been skinny. My parents always made sure that my brother and I ate healthily, and I was addicted to sports, so I really appreciated the kind of body that I had.
But somehow, that question was quite a trigger to make me want to lose weight. That September, my grandfather died, and I had reached the last year of junior high and was having exams on a two-month basis. By December, I had the my first period, and in June, I had my final exams that dictated whether I moved on to high school or stayed behind.
On July 2, I had a doctor appointment. I had lost 33 pounds in four months.
I was later diagnosed with depression and put on a diet that required me to eat five times a day while taking anxiolytics and antidepressants. I got my 33 pounds back within three months.
Since then, I am happier.
I never wanted to look like the girl in the magazine cover again because she doesn't even look like the girl on the magazine cover! I became proud on my curves. I might not have Jennifer Lopez's bum, but I love mine! And I have no thigh gap nor big breasts, but I am happy with being a size 6/8 (because I vary a lot!) instead of a size 2.
I still exercise, and yes, I would be lying if I say that I didn't want to have six pack abs. But I had to hit rock bottom (and over the most stupid comment) to realize that this is who I am. This is how God made me. This is me healthy!
Stop wishing to have Angelina Jolie's cheekbones or Kendall Jenner's legs. Stop wishing to be a size 2 if you fit perfectly into a 14. Be proud of your size, of your unique YOU! You are beautiful in your own way.