In her interview with Vanity Fair's Buzz Bissinger, Caitlyn revealed that after one of those surgeries, she actually suffered a panic attack. "What did I just do? What did I just do to myself?" she recalls thinking after a 10-hour facial feminization surgery on March 15.
Fortunately, a counselor from the Los Angeles Gender Center came to Caitlyn's house and assured her that the her reaction was totally normal (and temporary) and informed her that such reactions were often induced by pain medication.
As for why she decided to go through with the transition now, Caitlyn said she didn't want to end up on her death bed regretting that she had this secret and never did anything about it. "I would be lying there saying, 'You just blew your entire life. You never dealt with yourself,'" she explained. "And I don't want that to happen."
And now she doesn't have to worry about that anymore, because, thanks to the Vanity Fair cover and her newly-created social media accounts, the whole world had the privilege of meeting Caitlyn today.
I'm so happy after such a long struggle to be living my true self. Welcome to the world Caitlyn. Can't wait for you to get to know her/me.— Caitlyn Jenner (@Caitlyn_Jenner) June 1, 2015