There's no way around it: breakups suck. They're an occupational hazard of dating that no one wants to think about because they're too busy being happy with their current bae. Unfortunately, if things don't turn out like the end of a Sandra Bullock movie for the couple, at least one person is bound to get hurt. Getting dumped is a terrible feeling, and one way through it is to lean on friends who can help build you up when you're wallowing in self-pity.
If your pal is the one who just got her heartbroken, it's important that you give her your love and support. But not everything that you can tell your friend will be beneficial to the process of becoming a confident #singlelady.
What should you definitely NOT say to your friend who has just been dumped? Read on and find out:
1. "I always hated that guy. You could do so much better!"
Obviously you mean well when you remind her that she's far more awesome than her ex, but it could come back to bite you later. For one thing, it'll make your friend doubt pretty much every interaction you've ever had with her ex, as well as any future guys whom you'll also proclaim to adore. If your friend does reunite with her ex, you'll look like the jerk. It's a lose-lose.
2. "Let me set you up with someone!"
Unless your friend explicitly says that she wants to start dating immediately after her breakup, put the brakes on calling up your cute camp friend. You don't want to put your friend in an awkward position she's not ready for... or have her crying into her spaghetti when your friend takes her to Olive Garden on their date.
3. "Do you think there's someone else?"
Whether there is or there isn't, maybe don't put this hellish idea into her head. SO not okay.
4. "Let's egg his car!"Is a "Picture To Burn" revenge fantasy fun to discuss? Sure, especially if the guy was a grade-A jerk or a cheater. At the end of the day, though, the last thing you want is to get in trouble for destruction of property or make your friend look like the crazy one who deserved to be dumped. Take the high road, ladies.
5. "So who are you going to take to prom now?"
I guarantee that your friend does not want to think about the fact that she's now going stag to the events that she planned on attending with her boyf. You may mean well (like, maybe you two can go as one another's dates!) but it'll just end up being a sad reminder that she no longer has a locked-in plus-one.
6. "Are you upset?"
The answer to this is probably yes. You don't need to remind her of how she feels. Just be there.
7. "But didn't you say that you weren't very happy in the relationship anymore, anyway?"
This might be true, but getting broken up with also meant that it wasn't her choice to end the relationship. She might realize that she's better off down the line, but that doesn't take away from the initial sting.