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What Depression Really Feels Like

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I'm really scared to talk about my depression because I never do, but maybe it will help someone who is also dealing with depression.

It all started when I was 11 years old. I never really fit in, but when I was 11, I started to notice the differences between me and everyone else. My " friends " never asked me to hang out; I was always in my room reading or something. Everyone around me was having fun with their friends, but I was always alone.

People started calling me "anorexic" when I was 13. I was underweight, but I wasn't anorexic. They pushed me to the point that I couldn't even cry anymore, and that was the point that I started cutting. It really felt like a relief - I was finally able to control something. But I really wish I never made that first cut because I wasn't able to stop until four months ago.

This is not the end; everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end.

Depression started to control my whole life. I didn't like the things I used to love, I never laughed, I was always alone in my room and I didn't really have any friends. Eventually, I was diagnosed with major depression and social anxiety. My whole life was falling apart, and I didn't even care.

To all girls/boys with depression, (social) anxiety, anorexia or any mental illness, I know that right now it may seem endless. You don't know why you're still here or why you're still holding on. I know you're tired of waking up sad. Yes, right now, it's hard, but you gotta open your eyes. You're not living, and you really need to start living. This is not the end; everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end.

Think about every reason you're sad, and ask yourself if it's really worth it because most of the time, it isn't. You need to remember that you're beautiful in your own way. Too many girls don't know how to act when someone's being inappropriate with them. They giggle or they try to brush it off. Don't do that. Tell them to go f**k themselves; be a b**ch. If someone's being disrespectful to you, be disrespectful right back. Show them the same amount of respect they show you. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
(Cambio Col[lab] is a lab for young creators to showcase their passion and develop their voice. Like what you're seeing? Share it to support their effort!)


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