For Kristen Stewart, taking on the starring role in her new film Equals was terrifying because of the things she knew she would have to confront by doing it.
In the sci-fi flick, Kristen and Nicholas Hoult play Nia and Silas, who live in an advanced society that has banned emotions and traditional human relationships. Anyone who "feels" emotions is diagnosed with SOS (Switched On Syndrome). In spite of that, Nia and Silas end up falling in love so intensely that it feels "like they are the last two people on earth," according to the Hollywood Reporter. The trouble is, if anyone finds out how they feel about each other, they could be sent to a rehabilitation center that ends in suicide or death.
When Kristen was asked if she drew from her first love for this role, she said, "Totally." While she didn't specifically say that first love was Robert Pattinson (although...who else could it be), K.Stew, added, "One of the reasons I was so intimidated by this movie is because I was like, "This is gonna hurt. I don't want to think about all that."
"[But,] It's good, it's cathartic, it's worth it," she continued. "I feel good now on the other side of it. But at first I was like, 'Oh God.' If we do this right it's so basic, it's so fundamental, it's so young. Obviously Nick and I are 25. We made the movie nearly a year ago. We're still very close to our first loves."
"It's definitely something that we both know so well. It was a painful movie to make in every way. It was exuberant, cathartic and at the same time almost too self-reflective. We would go home and be like, 'We seriously need a drink. Let's just stop thinking about everything. Let's not talk. Let's just take a walk.'"
We so get that. Can you imagine having to go back and think about everything that went wrong with you and your ex? Girl. Kristen is a brave soul.