What to Do When You've Graduated College but Aren't Ready to Grow Up
You feel like you are missing out on so much by going home before midnight. You aren't. Nothing good happens after midnight - just remember all those times puking after a night out. But yet, you still envy those who are out living it up and thinking that maybe you should go out. On second thought, the new season of Orange Is The New Black just came out. Netflix.
Your body can't handle well liquor like it used to. You're starting to realize why that bar you frequented could serve $10.00 all you can drink Thursdays. They're really serving a headache and nausea in a baby cup with a lime. It sucks to spend that extra 10 bucks on the good stuff, but your body will surely thank you the next day.
Your friends are either getting married or still hitting the bars every night, and there is NO in between.
Ramen Noodles are still dinner at least once a week. We all know now how horrible they are for you. They have some weird wax coating, they barely digest, and they're full of sodium and other bad s**t. But you cannot deny they are the bomb and only take 3 minutes to cook. Add some hot sauce and you're basically a gourmet chef.
Your single friends look like they're having so much fun on Instagram. They're adorned in scantily clad garments, they're posing like they're the stars of The Rich Kids of Beverly Hills, they're laughing and having a blast, and you're at home with your cat or snoring boyfriend. Just know, they staged that laughing pose, and at least two of them left that night crying over some boy. You aren't missing a thing.
You can't tell a soul you actually enjoy watching HGTV. That Nicole Curtis really knows what she's doing. I wonder if I could do that? I could totally do that. *3 hours later...
You actually started reading something other than a text book. Heaven forbid, you actually enjoy stimulating your brain with something other than Twitter.
A relaxing vacation is starting to sound much better than a week-long rager. Sure, your Panama City days were awesome. But now, a relaxing week by the uncrowded beaches of a South Carolina seashore sound much better. Plus, you've heard they have this adorable place to ride a bike to get coffee and overlook the ocean to ponder life. *Sighs, "I'm old."*
"Shacking" and "Walk of Shames" (or strides of pride) aren't cool to brag about anymore. You used to run back to your dorm to tell your girls about what you don't remember from the night before. You're dressed in a fraternity boy's hoodie and heels, your hair and makeup a hot mess. Now, if you do that, were going to look at you in pity and say, "Girl, you really need to get your s**t together."
Your Pinterest boards are starting to look like Modern Home Magazine rather than dorm room hacks. Your COLLEGE board had ways to paint coolers for that Lambda Chi weekend formal, ways to make your papers look longer than they really are, beer pong tips and tricks, and "How to Survive the Freshman 15" articles. Now you have a wedding, home, babies, CrockPot, and small apartment decor board. The wedding board is definitely a hidden one. Thank you Pinterest, for that awesome secret option.
Gawd, adulthood is no fun at all. *Gets ready to go to out and falls asleep after shower*