He's So Not Bae: 5 Good Reasons to Say No to a Second Date

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Almost every relationship ever starts with a first official date, and it would be an understatement to say that plenty of those are awkward as heck. If you power through nervous small talk and end up making a real connection, awesome! You're on your way to the second date, which by definition is a whole lot less awkward than the first. Of course, there's also one caveat to this: how do you know you want a second date in the first place?

Truthfully, if you really want to see someone again, your gut (and hopefully those fluttering butterflies in your stomach) will nudge you in the direction of "yes." But while it's great to give someone a second chance to to make a connection, not every first date should lead to another. So how do you know when you should decline a date if he wants to take you out again? Here are a few signs you should say no and move on:

1. You were painfully bored on your first date.

And not just bored because the movie you saw was bad - bored because you didn't find your date very compelling. He doesn't have to be a skydiving black belt who speaks six languages and has traveled to every continent on the planet, but if you have zero interest in anything he has to say, you'll likely feel even less interested on the second date.

2. He's rude to the server, or any of the people around him.

You two may have gotten along great, but if he was ultra snappy to the waiter at the restaurant or not particularly polite to your parents or friends, it's a red flag. You don't want to be associated with jerky behavior, even if it's not directed at you - and one day, it might be.

3. He pressures you to do something you said "no" to.

It's fine for a date to encourage you to do something outside of your comfort zone - it's how he does it that's the problem. Maybe you've repeatedly told him that you get serious motion sickness on roller coasters, but he guilts you into riding the fastest ride at the park because he "paid for your ticket," or encourages you to order a drink when you said that you prefer to stay sober. If your date makes you uncomfortable, he likely won't have a drastic personality change from date one to date two.

4. You're really, reallllllly not over your ex.

Dating someone new after a breakup has actually been proven to help you cope with all of that icky sadness, but if you find that just being on a date with this person is painful because you can't stop thinking about your ex, it's okay to back up. No one wants to feel like the rebound, and if you sense that you won't be able to give this new person the full attention that they deserve, it's in both of your best interests to walk away - at least until you're ready to try dating again.

5. The sparks just aren't there.

Sometimes it takes people a few dates to really warm up to another person, so the first date may not be the best time to gauge whether you really feel legit ~*sparks*~. Still, there's a big difference between dealing with a few awkward silences (totally normal!) and having conversations that feel like they're going nowhere. Are you laughing on the date? If not, it might be a clue that you guys just aren't romantically compatible.

Navigating the dating world is tough, and giving someone another chance to make a great impression can sometimes help you connect with someone really cool - but if you're not feeling *it* for any of the above reasons, don't feel too bad about just doing you. It will give both of you a chance to find someone you really match up with.
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