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Don't Be a "Netflix and Chill" Type of Girl

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I never really could relate to Aretha Franklin's blues hit "Respect" back in the day, but now being a young woman in the dating world, I can relate to her need for just "a little respect." I swear that romance has become a sentiment of the past. Nowadays, watching Netflix and cuddling with a perfect stranger is considered an acceptable first date amongst our generation.

Both men and women today are responsible for the absence of romance and chivalry. I am all for #girlpower and the empowerment of woman, but I feel that the modern woman has lost some respect for herself. Opening doors and paying for dinner have been deemed old fashioned. Trust me. I'm not saying that a man should carry me over a puddle, but simply holding the door open for a woman is admirable.

To my fellow ladies, if you are interested in a boy, and he insists upon having a "Netflix and chill" date, chances are that he only wants one thing. Sure, you think about it because it may be nice to watch a movie and cuddle with this handsome fellow, but if you want to be treated with respect, the bedroom is no place for a first meeting. A first date should not be in between the sheets, but it should be at a restaurant or in a public place. You both should be trying to impress each other and engage in small talk to learn about one another. Watching Netflix in your favorite sweats doesn't really give the best impression or allow you to really learn about each other.

If this boy refuses to take you out in public, chances are for lack of a better word he is a f**kboy. I'm sorry break it to you, but he is not interested in having a relationship. This is not an exact science, but when a guy likes you, he will make effort to impress you. He will come pick you up, open doors and pay for dinner and not start copping a feel 15 minutes into Orange Is the New Black.

Don't be the girl who ends up feeling disrespected because you went to his room and never spoke to him again. Go to lunch or dinner, get to know each other, and if it is going well, wait until the end of the date to kiss and build the romance. Don't be the girl who goes to his room late at night. Don't be one girl out of the many others whom he is pursuing. Don't settle for guy who says, "You're hot" but find the man who thinks you're beautiful.

Dating in college is tough, but by demanding respect, you'll distinguish the men from the boys. In the future, other boys will dazzle you with their charm. But before you take a leap of faith on this boy, just make sure he's worth it.

Remember it is OKAY to be single and learn to love yourself. Become a strong woman who doesn't NEED a man. Don't let a boy control your life or diminish your esteem. Say farewell to the days when a text message was from a boy asking you to "chill" brought a smile to your face.

Our culture favors casual hookups because they allow us to feel some type of connection without commitment. However, people are not expendable and available for our own convenience. We all have feelings, needs and wants. Sure, people may say that it is just a casual hookup, but there is nothing casual about allowing a person to have access to your vulnerability. Perhaps, if this generation stopped jumping right into bed with one another, we would actually create more meaningful friendships and grow in respect for our fellow humans.

Don't allow our cultural norms to define or influence you. Set high standards for yourself and those around you. The men that measure up to those standards belong in your life and those that do not are missing out. Ladies, it's time we allow a man to wine and dine us. I mean, who doesn't want a free meal? I'm just kidding; there's more to it than the free food (that's just an added bonus).
(Cambio Col[lab] is a lab for young creators to showcase their passion and develop their voice. Like what you're seeing? Share it to support their effort!)


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