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Learning How to Forgive

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You get into a major fight with your best friend, and maybe she is to blame and is the wrong one in this situation. Although she apologized numerous times, your anger and coldness toward her for a day turns into two days, which turns into a week, and now it's been a month and you haven't spoken one word to your bestie. Reflect on this feeling for a minute. It's crappy.
Not forgiving someone is sort of a pride thing. We want to stand by how we feel because we know we are right in the situation, and the other person is wrong. Forgiving someone feels like giving in sometimes to someone's wrongdoing. Maybe we find some sort of pleasure out of having that person constantly text/call us while we continue to dodge them.

According to the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, forgiveness is defined as the act of consciously deciding to let go of resentment or vengeance toward another entity who has harmed you in some way. Forgiveness does not mean having to condone the wrongdoing committed against you. Forgiveness is not only toward the other person, but it has mental benefits for you as well.
1. You're out of the "cranky pants, ready to snap at everyone" mode.
When you're constantly angry at someone, it has effects on our heart and blood pressure. WebMD reported that those who hold onto anger have increased facial muscle tension and heart rate pressure. When you forgive, it immediately de-stresses you and sends a wave of relief over you.

2. We can let go.

The saying "forgive but don't forget" isn't that helpful either. Along with forgiving someone, it is crucial to try to put the incident in the back of your mind. Keeping it present in your mind and not letting it go will do you no good. You'll never feel completely comfortable or happy with the person if this incident remains floating in your head.

3. Helps relationship get stronger

By forgiving a loved one and expressing your feelings on why/how they hurt you, it could only lead to strengthening your relationship and allowing you to both to grow. Communication is key in any relationship and by forgiving by communicating the person's wrongdoing to them, your relationship can only get better from there.

4. Being a forgiving gal could prevent stress in the future.

Being a forgiving type of person and having the trait of forgiveness is awesome to have. Obtaining this trait predicts positive mental and physical health according to a study in the Journal of Health Psychology. Who doesn't want a lifetime of good health?

We all have our moments of being angry at someone and finding difficulty in forgiving them. Let that wall down and communicate with this person. I admit that I, too, need to follow this advice. Some are more willing to forgive than others, and strive to be one of those people! I promise it will help you in the long run.
(Cambio Col[lab] is a lab for young creators to showcase their passion and develop their voice. Like what you're seeing? Share it to support their effort!)


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