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What to Do When He Didn't Text Back

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We've all played the waiting game. We've all tried to play it cool. Every girl knows that anxious feeling of waiting to receive a text back. The day seems to drag on and on as you wait for that response. Initially, you begin to make excuses for him. Even though you have his whole entire work schedule figured out, you tell yourself, He might've had work today. Or maybe, He is probably drowning in homework. (Very likely huh?) As you keep refreshing your Twitter/Snapchat feed every two to five minutes, suddenly his name pops up with a new Snapchat. This dreaded Snapchat proves he is definitely not busy enough to use his phone, so why didn't he answer your text?

This heart-wrenching question is leading to big problems in today's society. In today's world, we become uncertain on how people feel about us based on the emojis they use, their "texting attitude" or simply how quickly they text back. The anxiety that results from the uncertainty is simply unhealthy and is ruining our ability to communicate effectively. It's a total confidence killer when the guy you're crushing on doesn't text you first. Or what about those days when you get insecure with your own girl friends? I know I often get offended when my own best friend doesn't respond a millisecond after I text her. We often feel let down and disappointed. If a guy doesn't text you for a whole day after you hang out or texts back using one-word answers, we instantly assume the worst: He's just not that into you.
Why are we so quick to jump to these conclusions? Why do we beat ourselves up and wonder if the world hates us? According to psychologist, Theresa E. DiDonato, "Texting is often fraught with confusion. Without our non-verbal signals, messages can be misinterpreted or misconstrued, leading to uncertainty and anxiety." (He just texted, "Hi." What does that mean?!?!)

The real question is, could the excuses we make up in our minds actually be true sometimes? Could it be that people are actually busy and don't really want to text? Is that maybe why your friends giving you short answers? Is that why he isn't answering right now? We have to think with open minds. A good tip is to put yourself in others' shoes. Do you ever get in those moods where sometimes you just want to curl up with a fuzzy blanket and binge-watch Netflix? Maybe while Grey's Anatomy is on you aren't really feelin' like texting back in your group chat. Or maybe while you are helping give your bestie advice, you want to devote your full attention to her and don't want to text your boyfriend. These aren't excuses; these are simply times when you are busy.

Everyone gets busy every once in a while, and although it's hard, we gotta grow thicker skin and not get so easily offended. If it's 6 p.m. and he still didn't text you, take a chill pill. Do something fun for yourself. Don't focus too much on it because the reality is everyone gets busy. Eventually you will be able to determine if someone is too busy for you and is not giving you the attention you deserve at all. Until you can safely make that determination, sit back and relax and don't sweat the small stuff!
(Cambio Col[lab] is a lab for young creators to showcase their passion and develop their voice. Like what you're seeing? Share it to support their effort!)


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