A Letter to my Future Child(ren)
I know that I haven't had you or even thought about having you yet, but I want you to know how much you mean to me. This may seem like an odd letter to be writing at 20 years old, but I need to let you know all of this information before I forget what I want to say.
First of all, I want you to know that you can come to me (or your father) with any problem or issue you may be experiencing, and I will do my best to help you to the full extent of my ability. I know what it's like to be bullied, I know the distress that anxiety can put you through, and I know how depression immobilizes you. I can't say for sure that I will be able to help with every problem, but what I can't help you with, I will get someone that knows how to help you. I will never accuse you of being attention-seeking or lying to get a rise out of me. I will always believe you; just please, please be honest with me. That's all I ask of you, baby.
Second, I want you to know that you are wanted. I may not always tell you that, but you are. I literally made the choice to have you. Your father and I planned to have you. I will never make you feel like you are a burden because I made the choice to get pregnant and have you. Every part of you I love. I want you to know that you are loved. You are wanted. You are my baby, and no matter how big you get or how old you are, you will always be my my baby. I love you.
Third, I will keep you away from toxic people. I won't allow anyone to call you "fat" or "chubby" or "2-ton Tina" (or Tony). Even if you are a little heavier or you like food a little bit more than the average person, it's okay. That means that you are my child. I love food, but I will not let you have the love/hate relationship that I have had with food. I won't let anyone bully you into an eating disorder or depression or anything else that can happen. I won't let my body image issues be projected onto you.
It's not fair for you to feel the way that I have in the past. You are different from me. You are going to be raised differently than I was. I will not let my family talk to you and put you down the way that they have done to me. I will not let that happen to you. You are so much more than your size. You are my world. If any of your friends tries to put you down or bully you for something as shallow as you being a little overweight or your hair being a little too straight, I will not allow them into my house, but I will also not let you be a bad person. Don't be manipulative, vindictive or running on revenge. You are my child, and I will not let you be a bad person.
Fourth, I will accept you no matter what. If you happen to be gay or straight or bisexual, I will still love you. If you are born in the wrong body or the gender that you were assigned at birth is not fitting of who you are, I will do everything I can to find a way to make you comfortable in your skin. You need to be comfortable in your own skin no matter what.
Finally, you are going to be raised correctly. I will do my best to tell you everyday that I love you, and I know that children learn by example, so I will use my manners and I will teach you to use yours as well. There is nothing that I want more for you, my child, than to be raised correctly. I may not be the best parent ever, but I will try to be the best parent I can for you. I know now that this might seem like a lot to promise you, but I want you to not have to feel like a burden on your parents. You are wanted you are loved you are everything that I could ever imagine you being.
I want you to know that I don't want you to feel like I did while growing up. I don't want you to feel unwanted or to grow up with parent issues. I love you, and I haven't even met you yet.
- Your future mother